Friday’s Findings, Picks
- Sports -
In the ultimate battle of all battles, Ohio State is set to take on Michigan tomorrow afternoon at 3pm EST. Not everyone can possibly understand all the hype, so I figured it would be in my readers’ best interest to line-up the best of the best coverage stories and throw in a few headliners to read up on before kick-off.
Trust me, you’ll be a better person for it and I, the doer of good, will have completed my e-community service requirements as stated by the state of Virginia for that infamous… forget I said it. But here we go…
- ESPN Page2’s Kurt Snibbe and Patrick Hruby pit the OSU/Michigan game up against the TomKat (Tom Cruise and baby momma Katie Holmes) Wedding. Everyone who attends both events comes out a winner as they will both, respectively, be entertaining and something coverage and replay on a syndicated “Classics” channel.
- If you’re a true OSU/Michigan historian, you’ll appreciate Thomas Neumann’s All-Time OSU & Michigan rosters, headlined by the recently deceased, highly-respected former head coach Bo Schembechler.
- ESPN’s Ivan Maisel says that this is the biggest Big Ten match-up of all-time.
- Gene Wojciechowski tells us more about how former Michigan coach Bo Schembechler knew more than just pigskin. Ask Steve Fisher and Rick Majerus, Bo knew hoops.
NFL Picks
Believe it or not, more than one football game will take place this weekend. But as a side-note, Oakland is rumored to be terrified of the outcome of the OSU/Michigan game. Talking heads have mentioned a possible team-swap between the winner and Al Davis’ silver-and-black crew. I say green light it. Although that would instantly affect the strength of schedule adversely of whomever would have to take on the Rr-rr-rr-rraiders! (think: Berman voice)
Speaking of the Berm’, let’s take a look at the games this week in the No Fun League and see if we can’t make a prediction or two.
(losers dramatically marked off using the wonderful “strikethrough” type)
Washington at Tampa Bay
The Washington Redskins reach into their bag of inspirational tricks and pull out an actual positive spark for the team, starting third year quarterback Jason Campbell Sunday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Now benched QB Mark Brunell said all of the right things, but what he should’ve said was something along the lines of, “What do I look like, Trent Green? Drew Bledsoe? Now those guys know how to launch a youngin’s career!”
St. Louis at Carolina
Every week Steve Smith yells out, “No one can guard me!” and every week I’ve been sure that someone would triple team him and/or get amazingly brutal on the 5 foot 9 Pro Bowl receiver. My suggestion for St. Louis is to acquire a defensive specialist to get physical and downright dirty with the unbelievable tiny but amazing WR. I say go avant garde and steal Bruce Bowen away from San Antonio for a day. Same goes to everyone else facing the Panthers for the rest of the season. Until then… challenger, you’re most likely going to get the “strikethrough”.
Cincinnati at New Orleans
If last Sunday’s game were an indicator, ex-Charger Drew Brees should put up serious numbers against a very inconsistent Bengals D. Ifhe is unable to do this, I suggest booing him like a starter in Madison Square Garden, and joke the fact that whether it be young QB Philip Rivers, Brees or yours truly, any of us can hand the ball over to LaDainian Tomlinson and win games. That said, look for Bush to have a great day, but Chad Johnson will double last week’s 200+ yard output. Yep. Look for a single-season record of 400+. You heard it here first, folks. *Note: My picking against the Saints at home does not make me a terrorist, nor does it make me a proponent of Hurricane Katrina*
Tennessee at Philadelphia
Despite their record of 2-7, the Titans have the amazing ability to make their opponents play down to their skill level. That said, if the Eagles can’t beat rookie Vince Young and the awful Tennessee squad, they should be sentenced to a year of dealing with the ownership of Washington owner Dan Snyder, who produced one of the most expensive teams in the league – that already lost to the Titans this season.
Chicago at NY JetsSeeing as how I’m not sold on the Bears’ O (and no one should be) because of their tendency to start awful quarterbacks like Rex Grossman, I think it’ll be a close game. But in the end, Pennington cannot withstand 239203 blows to the head from Urlacher and the boys.
Minnesota at Miami
I know Miami is on a hot streak right now, but that’s not why they’ll win. Culpepper’s old squad gets to head into the town of Culpepper’s new squad and mock them for falling into the trap of acquiring the still-injured QB in the off-season. The hilarity of the case will cause the Vikings’ focus to shift and, when no one’s looking, Joey Harrington will actually put positive points on the board.
Oakland at Kansas City
One of the storied rivalries gets an added story line with the return of Trent Green to the starting line-up. Read Jason Whitlock’s piece in the Kansas City Star where he compares the Damon Huard/Green ordeal with trying to turn a fling into the “real thing.” Couldn’t have said it better myself, sir.
New England at Green BayIn the game pegged as new flava versus old, Tom Brady faces Brett Favre in a game where not only will a pivotal game be on the line, but the loser has to share their significant others’ phone number with Bill Belichick. I’m rooting for the Packers, but Brady’s faced similar odds before and has found a way to win. Why do you think he’s won all those Super Bowls? It can’t be because of a laser-rocket arm because I don’t know about you but I haven’t seen his commercial confirmation of his skill set yet.
Pittsburg at ClevelandCleveland could slide in and steal this one away from the defending champs who are off to one of the worst title defenses ever. But the problem is that Willie Parker is faster than the average player and contrary to what you’ve heard, the Browns are stacked with many, many average players. Prediction: Parker pulls a Jamal Lewis against the Browns’ D. No, not broker a coke deal over the phone. I mean put up lots of yards against them, silly.
Atlanta at Baltimore
Vick’s amazing talent as a newly reformed pocket passer will be set back in reverse as he will not be able to recognize what a “pocket” looks like, as it will be filled with Bart Scott and the rest of the non-injured amazing Ravens’ D. So pretty much it’ll be Mike Vick of four weeks ago. Before we realized he was the greatest thrower like, of all-time.
Buffalo at Houston
I cannot believe J.P. Losman is still a starting quarterback in the NFL. I hereby announce my eligibility for the 2007 NFL Draft, assuming my 2007 flag football career isn’t shortned by any fluke incidents. *knock on wood* Or maybe I should forego the draft and just road trip it up to Buffalo, take the football out of my trunk and throw it forward, while in plain sight of the G.M. and then sit back and wait to sign the contract. I won’t forget the little people, don’t worry.
Detroit at Arizona
It’s games like this that make me wonder if, just like NBC’s game-swap, we could just have the outcome of the game determined by silly obstacle courses and memory games. Or maybe something in the form of The Price Is Right. Detroit’s Roy Williams will promise an even 40 points for his Lions squad and he will, personally, score 39 of them. Extra points included. That is amazing stuff. Amazing enough to make me “strikethrough” Arizona’s now-irrelevant team name.
Seattle at San Francisco
Seeing as how this will be played on the west coast, us east costerners couldn’t care less. But if last year’s exposure of a west costerner in the Super Bowl was any indicator, the refs will inevitably blow every call and hand the game over to whomever Seattle is playing. So if San Francisco can’t take advantage of that, they don’t deserve to win.
Indianapolis at Dallas
Terrell Owens started the week off predicting big things against the Colts’ D, whom they face on Sunday. It’s almost like going up against the Raiders and guaranteeing Fantasy Football geeks your D will be the top-scorer of the week. Difference is that against the Colts, they’ve got 9 points to answer your 7. How they get 9 per score, I do not know. I believe it has something to do with Peyton Manning’s offensive total control, excellent D-reading abilities and, of course, that amazing laser-rocket arm his cocky twin brags about on TV.
San Diego at Denver
As great as everyone says Denver’s D is, who, pray tell, wil prevent LT from breaking the 100 TD mark this Sunday? Anyone? Thought so. Side note: If Julius Peppers isn’t defensive MVP, Champ Bailey most definitely is. Don’t say Merriman because he’s a ‘roid head.
NY Giants at Jacksonville
Byron Leftwich is likely to have surgery. I’m thinking this situation with the Jags can be compared to Kansas City’s. Look for Garrard to slip up even more now that Jack Del Rio’s attempted to make him the “real deal” for the second time in as many years.

