Apparently There’s A Game In Miami Sunday?
- Sports -
Not many weeks are more torturous than the one leading up to the biggest NFL game of the year. Super Bowl hype week has to be a journalist’s most dreaded of the year, as far as stories go. Everyone Kanye West’s (sample, sample and then, when all else fails, sample some mo’) everyone else’s story and the team you found yourself rooting for moments after the Conference championship games tends to change as a product of this information overkill.
This year’s Super Bowl information overkill is hosted with the beautiful South Beach Miami, Florida in its backdrop. Not too shabby a spot, I must say, for repetitive, irrelevant and unoriginal questions to roll out one after another.
And, how appropriate is it that the Super Bowl is played right as Sundance Film Festival in Utah concludes? Those with tickets to both Sundance and S.B. XLI (41 to those who are in the 21st century, where only the graphic design team could possibly appreciates the NFL’s use of Roman numerals) can rub it in how they jump from snowy Park City, Utah to sunny Miami, Florida and miss nothing. As a member of the hoi polloi, to those types we say collectively, “We envy you.” To Park City and Miami locals, I do not envy you. Thousands of bodies of tourists, celebrities and media folk polluting your town for a full week sounds torturous. Luckily, no such abnormal traffic would be allowed in our nation’s capital where I currently reside. Three words: ”White House paranoia.” Think: DiCaprio as Howard Hughes at the end of The Aviator.
So as the SB XLI coverage gets a tan in the Sunny State, let’s dive into the story lines that will most likely be covered. Even the ones I’ve plucked out of the sky…
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Black Coaches Make History
Do not fall among the many who think this is not a top story. Those types are the ones who think that if we ignore the elephant in the room, it will go away. The truth is, this year the NFL will have its first ever competing and winning Super Bowl coach. No, this is not as big a deal as Jackie Robinson breaking baseball’s color barriers, but bear in mind that for the entire Super Bowl Era (41 years now) this is the first time a black coach has made it to the Big Game. Many black players have graced the grand stage (no QBs, either, until Doug Williams of the burgundy and gold nation’s capital team stepped it up) but less than a decade ago, the Rooney Rule was implemented so the owners would not just ignore black coaches who were as qualified as their “good old boys” they normally hired. The significance of Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith’s achievement will be revered many years from now after they hang up their hats and this game is played on ESPN Classic - as it goes in sports, and history in general.
The “conspiracy theorist” in me secretly thinks the storyline behind the scenes is reminiscent to The Chappelle Show episode where fellow black actor Wayne Brady takes over as host while Dave tests his limits with Comedy Central studio heads. The “I have your back, you have mine, right?” implication is there but there’s no doubt in either mind that they want to be the one looking back toting the all-so-important advice as to “How To Succeed on the Big Stage”. On that same episode, Chappelle’s half-hearted “black actors” statement to Brady as he fears for his life says it all.
The Rex Grossman Factor
No quarterback could possibly have been scrutinized as much as Rex Grossman throughout an entire season. Reason being is that no QB actually existed on a team where his defense remained motivated to win big ballgames by protecting their awful offensive leader. Grossman has overcome amazing odds of being awful to… continue that same trend, yet make it to SB XLI in-spite-of. While every NFL player will carry around a digital video camera to capture all of the excitement (and stay tuned for which make the YouTube best-of clips!), if no one else, Grossman should have a full camera crew there to document this historical occasion. Never again will a QB so mediocre make it to the Big Bowl. It’s not Rex Grossman vs. Peyton Manning, so be real with the coverage. It is Rex Grossman vs. Brian Urlacher and the Bears’ D. The teammates have been loyal all the way up to this point, but who really thinks that if Rex blows this game his teammates will still have his back?
Peyton, Demons Sun-Lotioned Up For Sun, Media Attention
Peyton Manning looks to be headed towards a shoo-in Hall Of Fame career, surpassing all recorded passing statistics known to professional football. But, as many would have you believe, if he does not win a Super Bowl, he, Marino and Boomer Esiason will created their own club as the “Greatest QBs of All-Time… To Never Do A Super Bowl Shuffle.” I can already imagine Saturday night, after the team’s lights-out deadline, where Manning, Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne will be practicing play after play until dawn, when the players will suddenly realize that sleep is a pre-game requirement for most human beings. Luckily, the Colts’ elite rarely seem to portray many human traits. But as Manning looks to skewer the Bears D, his biggest on-field foe, his biggest off-field foe will be those damn CareerBuilder.com monkeys, who, like Manning, may also be on the big stage for the last time ever in their professional career, despite the entertainment they’ve provided for us all.
CBS (Conservative Broadcasting Station) Telecast – Again?
And the most anti-climactic part of the the whole Super Bowl experience this year? The fact that SB XLI will be hosted by CBS. Their High-Definition is suspect at best and the only shining star of the pre- and post-game coverage is DC’s own James Brown (the host formerly of the FOX Sunday team, not the legendary Godfather of Funk). I was a fan of Boomer in his playing days, as was I of Dan Marino and Shannon Sharpe, but their broadcasting days have been longer than I could have ever imagined. Not to take away from any of their genuine liking for the game of football (obviously) but the tandem doesn’t hold a candle to the ESPN squad (yep, even with Michael Irvin), the NBC squad (With my boy Sterling Sharpe, former ESPN analyst, whom left The Worldwide Leader way too soon), the FOX squad (Terry, Howie, Jimmy and “the other guy” aka. Curt Menefee) and the NFL Network Squad (Anyone else pleasantly surprised at Chris Collinsworth’s work as of late?). Let’s hope JB’s microphone remains louder than the others, and maybe a few guest spots will steal the show.
Oh, and what day will someone speculate on the possibility of another Janet Jackson-lke incident considering Prince is performing at halftime? Considering the conservatism growing in this world during events like this, a man dressed in purple frilly suits and mascara would surely rattle many a household, no? I can’t wait… as I, personally, think Prince’s music is among the classics.
Oh How I Miss Commercial Potty Breaks
Count me among the masses who will take a bathroom break only before the game (thirty minutes out, to be exact) and quite possibly during a potentially long and silly car commercial. Otherwise, consider my arse glued to the couch/chair/flooring of some sort where I stand, awaiting the entertainment of the game, but especially of the commercials. Historically I’ve not been so dedicated that I have a sheet filled out for rating each of them (might Google it in a few, actually) but I do believe that ever since comic relief in forms of jokes, wit and animals were added to the 30+ second spots, entertainment stole our traditional “potty breaks”. And taking these commercials a step further will be when a man uses a fourth quarter spot to propose to his girlfriend, at the low-low rate of $2 million!
Here’s to hoping that, for his and her sake, she says “yes,” or we can expect the attention drawn will work negatively against Mr. $2 Mil Proposal Guy when she mysteriously disappears, as it would be too suspicious to avoid guilt from those oh-so-suspecting finger-pointers. So, in respect to this, keep your fingers crossed.
