Unless the San Antonio Spurs plan on convincing the oh-so-lovely Eva Longoria to attend every game sporting scantily clad outfits, posing for every camera shot physically possible, TV ratings are inevitably doomed for the Western Conference Finals and, if they advance, the NBA Championship Finals. Arenas and stadiums will be hard-pressed to sell out. Bottom lines will be at risk. And, in a ridiculous long-shot, absolutely off-the-wall worst case scenario, the league could receive the “NHL treatment”. (Stern would have someone whacked before he’d allow that to happen to his league.)
The Spurs are simply too clean cut, by-the-book and fundamental to be “America’s team.” They lack the “sizzle” average part-time fans need to stay tuned in. Those fans typically look for a squad closely resembling a car crash; on any given night they can explode for 100+ points, dunk the ball with authority on fast breaks and is always good for the occasional scream after shots, passes and rebounds. On other nights, they get technical fouls galore for showing too much emotion and fire.
The Spurs will never be called a car crash. They are too good, too clean-cut, and just get the job done night-in, night-out, without the same over-the-top emotions as the popular teams (Suns, Warriors, Heat, and Mavericks). They do everything coaches always teach — play defense, box-out, hustle, work the ball down low — and young players should take notes at their precision. The thing is, those young kids never finish watching Spurs games because halfway through they are bored to tears.
Excitement, emotion and personality put butts in seats consistently. The Spurs, when visiting other arenas, do not put butts in seats consistently. The last thing a dynasty should have a problem with is selling itself. So I propose a solution to put the Spurs on the map, by way of marketing their quiet, friendly, clean-cut friendly giant.
Get Tim “The Big Fundamental” Duncan to follow the same marketing route as Peyton Manning.
There have to be enough “Cut-That-Meat!” commercials to go around, right?
Duncan is perfect for the job. He is friendly, gets along with his teammates and coaches and, most important for marketing the good of the league, has not been on the wrong side of the law or the league. Hell, the last fuss he made involved a referee giving him a technical foul for laughing, and where is the ref now? Pushing up dais… wait, no, he was fired. (I kid, Stern, I’m a kidder.)
The NBA’s image has been dragged through the mud for too long. Contrary to popular beliefs, not every player in the league is a hooligan, thug or diva. While the NBA cannot control negative media coverage – face the facts: negative stories always lead over the positive – it can pull out the “good guys” and plop their face in front of the American consumer.
Manning used to be viewed as the second-biggest football nerd on the face of the earth (John Clayton wins #1 by a landslide). Now he is the funniest player on the Super Bowl champs.
Manning was always known for spending countless hours studying game film and creating ridiculous audible calls for every imaginable situation. Now half of that time is devoted to SNL appearances, Mastercard and Cell phone commercials.
Surely Duncan has enough time to dedicate to the occasional commercial where he will be allowed to come out of his shell.
Ask not what the NBA can do for The Big Fundamental, but what The Big Fundamental can do for the NBA.
With his emergence as a positive face for the NBA, seen on just as many commercials as Manning, it will give a temporary face to all that is good in the league. Granted, like Manning, his commercials are not going to prevent the Bengals from being the Bengals, or Ricky Williams from smoking weed.
The kids would finally notice Duncan by the best means available, and not only respect him for his accomplishments on-court, but off-court, in the community as well. TV commercials have always been the best outlet for allowing athletes to show a side fans rarely get a chance to see. Among the best, commercials have allowed Manning to show off his funny bone, “Mean” Joe Greene to show his nice side and Gilbert “Agent Zero” Arenas to share his story of perseverance and heart. Duncan would fit into the list perfectly.
As we used to say back in the day, Duncan has the “skills to pay the bills.” He is ripe for the role of “The Face” and the NBA would be neglectful to not step in and ask him to “Be Like Peyton.”
The plan is so foolproof, even T.O.’s former “25 million reasons” publicist couldn’t screw this one up.
