I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again:

You control the fate of your own ass; both literally and figuratively.

Sitting atop the list of the most odd stories of the fresh new year is the report that a 35-year-old woman in Kansas sat on a toilet for two straight years. During the prolonged, self-imposed sit-in, her extremely dedicated and most likely equally twisted boyfriend brought her food, water and changes of clothing.

My question to the ladies: Is this romantic enough for you?

As we know, no good deed can go unpunished, after the boyfriend called the authorities on February 27 to report his potty princess’s health issues, the sheriff who arrived at the scene is trying to place get charges filed.

I have to side with the boyfriend on this case, as hard as it is right now, considering there’s more of this story to come out. He stood by his lady through a very traumatic, odd experience and finally called the authorities when he knew her life was in danger. His logic in maintaining his relationship, rather than “flushing it,” — so to speak — baffles me. But, nevertheless, he supported his “potty princess” through it all and should be commended.

People do crazy things when they’re in love. Why should we be so surprised two people were able to maintain a relationship in a bathroom?

This has to be the most disturbing relationships a person has ever had with their lady and toilet since Al Bundy.