Now that Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt, expect the ladies of America to flock towards the Illinois senator en masse, starting first in Pennsylvania, carrying on to Groupieville, U.S.A.We shall call it the “Pitt Bump,” though this sounds more like something you get from too much of living the lifestyle we assume Pitt lived before he settled down with his latest boo.

Who digs these things up?

Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton is a distant relative of Angelina Jolie. If Clinton were to miraculously win the Democratic nomination, she could brush past Obama and tab Jolie as her running mate.

Foreign policy? Jolie has ADOPTED kids from more countries than Clinton has visited (80, if you believe her) and is a staunch believer in the sciences. Ask her former mate, Billy Bob Thornton, who assisted in a certain blood experiment years ago…

But seriously though, can the researcher who keeps linking famous people to famous people give back to the community?

Let me know I’m related to one of the Hilton’s so I can get PAID? We will call it the “Hilton Hump”…

Oops, Freudian slip! Meant to say, “Bump”. *aw baby*

One would hope that having a billion dollar empire, the protection of one’s ass(ets) would be a priority. But, of course, hindsight is 20-20, and now Sir Paul McCartney has officially learned the hard way.

Losing more pennies than Charles Barkley after a weekend in Vegas, McCartney’s ex-wife, Heather Mills, officially gets $48.6 million per the divorce settlement officially ruled on today.

To marginalize the meaning of this marriage the way I know how — in sports terms — Mills ends up with a marriage contract worth the equivalent of $12 million a year. In local terms, she got as much as Miguel Tejada did with the Orioles up until they traded him to Houston this year.

All things considered — McCartney and Mills did have a 4-year-old together — pending further review into the numbers, Mills proved to be more productive for McCartney than Tejada for the O’s.

If you didn’t listen, and still haven’t seen Juno, no worries. You still have a handful of days before it may be picked for an Academy Award.

The Oscars air this weekend, on Sunday, February 24th, at 8 p.m. EST. Funnyman and host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, will be the host so it should be very entertaining.

So far I am 2 viewings short of having seen all 5 of the nominated Best Picture films. I have yet to see Atonement or the movie my roommate absolutely raves about after having seen it 4 times in the theater, There Will Be Blood. I will work on viewing both by week’s end to give rundown. I find it increasingly difficult to justify sacrificing $10 to the movie Gods these days, which is why I have been behind on movies up until recently.

At any rate, I’ll watch those movies and let you know how that goes. But seriously, though, if you can only watch one of them, go watch Juno. One prominent predictions site already predicted it as the early upset pick for Best Picture. I’m rooting for as much.

Get hyped!

We will never retrieve the many days of television brain-drain the writer’s strike took from us. We can only hope to make up for it as best we can, and act like this never happened. Load up the popcorn, chop up your Blockbuster card and let your kids back in the house (optional) — TV is back! Turns out this little squabble was a mere separation and not the divorce it seemed. Both sides — the writers and the network bigs — said things they didn’t mean but now all is well. Or, that’s what lines they’re feeding us anyway. (They are writers, after all)

According to the article, the writers should be back in action and pumping out new shows for the networks by early spring.

Thank you to all those involved in making this happen; I nearly took up jogging as a hobby. Can you believe that?! Luckily, I was Saved By the Bell conformation of billionaires, woohoo!

• MSNBC analyst gets suspended after saying Chelsea Clinton was being “pimped out,” and then trying to defend his offensive words to the Clinton press secretary via email.
• Former Secretary of State Colin Powell says Barack Obama is “worth listening to,” and will not make a commitment to just a GOP presidential nominee. (”Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… wait, um… well, you… you just wont…”)
• With Mitt Romney gone, maybe it’s time to reminisce about what could have been.
• Just saw Juno last night — great, great movie. Sarcastic, funny and very forthright about the entire “young adult is having a baby much too young.” Lead actress Ellen Page was wonderful. Check it out right now and tell me differently.
• A lead John Edwards supporter endorsed Obama. Edwards, however, has other things to consider.

Fifteen days following the sudden death of Hollywood actor Heath Ledger, the official toxicology report concluded that a lethal combination of prescription drugs led to the star’s death.

According to TMZ, federal agents are working with the NYPD to determine how Ledger acquired the various prescription drugs:

The NYPD found five different medications in Ledger’s apartment after his death, including anti-anxiety medications Alprazolam (Xanax), Diazepam (Valium) and Lorazepam (Ativan). The sleeping medication Zopiclone (Lunesta) and the sedative Temazepam (Restoril) — which is used by people with “debilitating insomnia” — were also found.

This report dispells the many premature rumors that Ledger may have committed suicide.

The Ledger family can expect a hefty sum to be headed their way later this year, following the release of this summer’s most anticipated movie, The Dark Knight. Ledger portrays the Joker in the sequel to the widely popular Batman Returns, which starred Christian Bale as the caped crusader himself. Fans of the darker, most recent re-hash of the Batman movie series were already set to be lined up for tickets but with the Ledger’s passing will come added sales from the curious and adoring public.

Just in case you haven’t seen it yet, here’s one of many Dark Knight trailers –

Damn you, OnDemand! With your amazing ability to allow customers to watch great shows like HBO’s The Wire a week ahead of time, the conversations I have with friends who watch the show just aren’t the same anymore.

We used to be able to talk about the latest and greatest moments of the past week’s show. Now, I have to censor my conversations to move around critical details and inferences laid out in the show I saw ahead of time.

Of course you’re thinking, “If the only problem is you watching episodes early, then STOP! Watch the shows at their regularly scheduled times.” I have thought about this and… I just can’t. You may consider it a weakness of character. I tend to think of this as taking advantage of the technological ability to glimpse into the future. If given the chance, wouldn’t you be so tempted to take full advantage?

Great new inventions like tiVo, DVR and OnDemand gave us the chance to one-up old tactics of networks strategically placing shows at certain times to make the world move to a single beat at their will. I enjoy the ability to walk against the grain of television viewers of the past. The networks are not allowed to win.

Granted, if The Wire was given more play with TV awards, I would be more inclined to watch the show at it’s regular time — 9pm every Sunday night. But even the show’s creator, David Simon, admitted that with Hollywood’s yearly snubs (only 1 Emmy nomination through their 4, going on 5 seasons) help them out at this point –

“Secretly, we all know we get more ink for being shut out. So at this point, we wanna be shut out. We wanna go down in flames together, holding hands all the way.”

So there, I’m stepping to the beat of the TV ratings and awards system! I should be applauded for my avant garde methods and, maybe, given some sort of award of my own. But if I get snubbed for an award — considering I can’t think of one I’d qualify for — it’s ok. I get more ink for being shut out!

Special thanks to Mark Halperin at TIME.com for this one.

Barack Obama arrived at the Late Show Thursday night and took over David Letterman’s Top Ten to rattle off a few beauties.

Here goes, courtesy of CBS , the “Top Ten Barack Obama Campaign Promises,” presented by Senator Barack Obama –

			“To keep the budget balanced, I’ll rent the Situation Room for sweet sixteens”
			“I will double your tax money at the craps table”
			“Appoint Mitt Romney Secretary of Lookin’ Good”
			“If you bring a gator to the White House, I’ll wrassle it”
			“I’ll put Regis on the nickel”
			“I’ll rename the tenth month of the year ‘Barack-tober’”
			“I won’t let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model”
			“I’ll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece”
			“Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear”
			“Three words: Vice President Oprah”

Who can’t appreciate a little humor on the campaign trail?

Between this and Mike Huckabee on The Colbert Show, these guys have a backup plan if that whole “next President of the U.S.” thing doesn’t work out for them.

Here’s some President Bush and his officials gave 935 false statements preceding the war in Iraq, according to a study by two non-profit journalism organizations. The war on terrorism must be extremely hard to fight when our own commander-in-chief can’t be honest with his own country. I feel like one of the Lost survivors, and Bush is less skilled, less personable Jack, who picks and chooses when to tell the truth so much that he ends up lying to folks 50% of the time.

Speaking of Lost, my girlfriend and I just finished watching the 3rd season last night. The last episodes provided more questions than answers, so I really hope this last episode set to air on January 31st is a thorough one. From what I can tell, reading the ABC website, and drawing my own conclusions, is that this last episode should close a few doors, but leave plenty open much like your typical “Spiderman” movie.

And on the same token with TV shows, HBO’s The Wire is on its last season, this time focusing on the media and how they portray the various action surrounding the city. Those of us who have OnDemand are lucky enough to have the next week’s episode a week early. That has to be the lone reason I remain a Comcast customer. Otherwise, I would be all about DirecTV until Verizon Fios comes to my city and I become a groupie of that.

Random Links

• Heath Ledger’s autopsy came back inconclusive. It may take up to 10 days to further investigate the cause of his death. (CNN)
• South Carolina bigotry high on display during the primaries. (NYTimes)
• The Clintons are storming the country with their “2-headed” monster approach, no matter the damage left behind. (NYTimes)
• It’s now or never for Obama, WaPo’s David Broder says. (Real Clear Politics)
• Have you watched all of the Oscar-nominated movies yet? (LA Times)
• Stocks are taking further hits. The word “recession” has to be true if the world is all up in a panic, right? (Wall Street Journal)